Power plays
What is the incentive for getting into hidden agenda power plays?- seeking pleasure. Even though we might not be so proud of the means to get it, the end; approval for our good impression, confirming our ability to control others, getting even or getting reassurance or power, for its own sake, feels good. In fact we hate it when power plays are used on us. One that fails tends to infuriate us or frustrate us to no end. But if it works in our favor we rarely regret it.
We compensate for power imbalances, we do what we have to to get our way. Sometimes the only way we can win is to conceal the fact we are playing at all. As a wife said, “I can get my husband to do anything I want, all I have to do is convince him he’s the one who thought of it”.
Those in power or those who get their self-esteem exercising power get what they want without being found out. Keeping secrets allows us to win a more complicated and challenging game, to feel more powerful for getting our way without giving ourselves away.
Hidden Agendas- Dr. Marlin S. Potash
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