God forbade...must reading!

Limmerence






   Limmerence is the concept of falling in love, to date. Though it has many features we can identify with, there is a flip-side that before this day is done, I will get to.



It’s revealed by the work of psychologist Dorothy Tennov and reads like this.



  Limmerence is an involuntary emotional state of intense romantic desire for another person. It’s sometimes referred to as an infatuation, or crush.



   It’s often what’s meant having intense feelings of attachment and preoccupations with the love object. It can be felt as extreme joy or despair depending on whether the feelings are reciprocated.



   Limmerence develops with a balance of hope and uncertainty. The base is in perception, not so much in reality, stinkers, you know! They comb through everything that was said, little things are noticed and analyzed for meaning.



   In this same balance is hope for reciprocation with accompanied joy and chrystalization, everyone loves this part. Under the appropriate conditions, limmerence intensifies.



  To become the limmerent partner one must be a potential sex object. Limmerence grows with a greater desire for sex, but where sex usually meant the end of uncertainty, its not always so; sex is not the glue you might have thought it was.



  Limmerence accounts for the lack of return, prepared for the fear of rejection. Considerable self-doubt and uncertainty causes pain, but enhances desire to a certain extent.



  It’s characterized by intrusive thinking, budinski, if you will. And is jealous of anything that affects the love object’s disposition to them. Its being carried away by unreasoned passion or love, exhibiting signs of immaturity; drawing conclusions from insufficient evidence.



   Tennov finds limmerence features obsession, irrational idealization and pursuit of inappropriate partners, unable to learn from experience, trapped in a repeating cycle of unhappy relationships, emotional distress and a sense of futility, and is short-lived.



   Were it not for the uncanny, Heimlich, the agreeable and familiar, and its opposite, what is secret and hidden, together, as in... nice and promising.