Ironic Perspective
People with negative self views are deeply ambivalent about the evaluations they receive. Though they want favorable evaluations, once they’ve thought about it, they realize those evaluations clash with their firmly held beliefs about themselves. They’re caught between wanting positive evaluation and their desire for self-confirmation.
That they are ‘trapped’ between these motives is unnecessarily complicated. Behaviors for self-confirmation are really efforts to gain praise in a round-about way.
“Self-handicapping” involves setting up obstacles to successful performance such as going on a bender the night before a big exam. The rationale: they’ll get their self-esteem no matter what happens. If they fail they can blame it on the drinking spree, if they succeed they can brag their talent shines through even when they stack the deck against themselves.
People use ‘circuitous routes’ to feel good about themselves. Attempts for self-verification are ironic attempts for positive evaluations.
Self Traps- William Bender Jr.
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