The narcissist can not view himself objectively. Incapable of insight or self-criticism, he bases his identity on the illusion that he is unique, that there is no one in the world with his special gifts and talents. This arrogance combined with blind ambition permits him to follow a chronic pattern of deception in all of his relationships. Deceit is a part of him, like the length of his fingers or the cadence of his speech. If he was not deceitful, he would not recognize himself. Deception defines the narcissist as much as compassion and truth identifies the saint.
The narcissist is inevitably preoccupied with the impression he is making. More than the quality of his character, it is how others perceive him that matters most. High-level narcissists tend to spend a lot of money on themselves. They demand the very best. Everything in their environment- homes, cars, personal appearance, clothing must reflect a flawless persona. Walking through some of their homes, one wonders if anyone lives there. There is no sign of human habitation: no footprints on rugs or carpets, no finger marks on furniture or mirrors, no body or cooking aromas, no whiffs of faded perfumes, no towel askew, no cushion indentations, no stain, no dust, no scuff, no smudge. Every aspect of their outward surroundings- personal possessions, clothing, homes, cars, planes- is kept in pristine condition at all times.
Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in your life- Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Narcissistic individuals are very focused on what goes on in their own head. They have minimal ability to hear the other has his own thoughts, feelings and preferences.
Narcissists are confusing. Because they can figure out what others want, they make good sales people. These understandings are used to manipulate others, rather than be genuinely responsive to their concerns. The narcissist’s goal is to get others to do what he wants them to do. Others are there for his benefit, not to live their own lives.
Psychology Today
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