Oneupsmanship
Oneupsmanship is a term from the concept playing the game to win as opposed to playing for sport. The term comes from Stephen Potter's book, The Theory and Practice of Gamesmanship, the Art of Winning Games, without actually cheating.
The book wittingly, wryly and gloomily concludes 'we amateurs have to fight against the growing menace of young people who insist on playing their games, effortlessly, for the fun of it, if the truth were known, indulging rather too freely in pure play.'
Oneupsmanship is the science of being one up on your opponent, at all times. It is the art of making him feel, somewhere, somehow he has become less than you- less desirable, less worthy, less blessed. You ask, who are your opponents?- everybody, in the world, who is not you. The purpose of your life must be to be one up, because, take note, he who is not one up, is one down!
An important factor in reciprocal liking in whether someone will like us is how much we believe the person does like us.
An experiment tested paired college students. One group was told their partner liked them, the others told they did not. The 'liked' group was friendlier and argued less.
A person's self-esteem has influence. As expected, those with positive self-esteem respond to reciprocal liking, those with negative self-esteem had a surprising reaction. The less than ideal preferred to work with someone critical of them, in the past, rather than treats them well. They feel they don't deserve it, the cycle perpetuates. Similarly, self-esteem can be lowered if they stay with someone who treats them badly or recklessly, more prone to find others who treat them the way they're used to.
Wikipedia
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