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Lovemap



  A Lovemap is a concept of John Money when defining sexual choices. Money says its an idea, in mind, depicting the idealized lover and what they will do. Money says it is formed similar to the learning of a native language. It bears the mark of your own individuality, like your accent when speaking. The lovemap is specific in details about the idealized lover's body, build and color, not to mention temperament, manner and the like.



  Money distinguishes lovemaps, including one vandalized, characterized by inappropriate behavior when young, pedophilia or incest. A paraphilic lovemap when lust is attached to fantasies, or, socially forbidden practices. Your native lovemap is individual, like a native language, assimulated as your own personal, inalienable possession, regardless of how many attributes are shared or not shared with others.



  Bonding is an attachment between romantic partners, close friends, or parents and children. A bond has emotions of affection and trust. Any two people who spend time together may form a bond.



  Dorothy Tennov postulates in her limerence theory some couples go through a limerent reaction, mixed passion, intrusive thinking and a fear of rejection and hope. Tennov claims one of three bonds can form. An affectional bond, neither is limerent, or one or both are limerent. Tennov's study found relationships have the limerence, or lack of, quality.



  Weak bonds, taken from chemistry, responsible for the structure of social networks and the information in them. More novel information flows in weak, rather than strong ties. Since our close friends travel in the same circles, information overlaps. Acquaintances know other people, by contrast, they get novel information.



  Sociologist Diane Vaughn proposed an  'uncoupling'  theory. Vaughn says during a relationship breakup comes a  'turning point' , only seen in hindsight, followed by the period when one sees the end, but, holds on to it for, perhaps, a couple of years.



  When one bonded to is gone, grief helps accept the loss, to adjust to the changed situation. The grief process varies with culture.





   Attachment theory includes an emotional bond, the tendency to be close to another, to feel secure near them.



  The enduring motivation to control a pleasantly surprising transformation among people. This motivation accounts for curiosity, the intellectual growth of language, mathematics and logic, all with the emotional base of security.







Wikipedia