Coping to Forgive
Coping, by assimulation, finds an existing method to apply to a problem. Accomodating coping seeks a new avenue to apply. Approach coping directly, and, possibly aggressively infringes the problem to be dealt with. By socially withdrawing or distracting themselves is avoidance coping.
Prosocial support seeks support from others. Antisocial coping opposes he who causes a roadblock. Cognitively reconstructing understanding is asocial coping.
Trying to dislodge a serious transgression can feel like people are ripping out part of their hearts.
People have the most control over their coping strategies. Perhaps, simply avoiding someone could reduce unforgiveness. Maybe, every week you go to a restaurant and see them. You might ask,
"How much did I like that food, anyway? Did I like it enough to put myself through all this every week?"
In coping, problem focused strategies are not inherently superior to emotion based for dealing with stress. When direct action is possible, problem focused coping gets the nod. When direct action to eliminate stressors is limited, emotion based coping strategy has the advantage.
Self soothing can give a sense of control, but it can, also, convince you that you are not all that forgiving.
Forgiveness and Reconciliation
Evertt L. Worthington, Jr.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment