God forbade...must reading!

Self condemnation, reconciliation








  Some problems are solved by a prioritization of solution.



"If you have a fever of 105 degrees, the doctor has to, first, bring down the fever before prescribing."



Concerning self blame, self condemnation and lack of forgiveness consider the following:

  The person could be introspective, reactive to stimulus or his own moods, ruminative (dwelling) and have a judgmental personality. Add depression and forgiveness is not likely.



  In coping ,self condemnation is sought through self medication, over compensation to win approval in relationships, in work and other ways.



  Self condemnation can stem from failure to live up to a personal standard or having done someone wrong. Does self condemnation come from not feeling good about yourself?


It's important to empathize with yourself.



  Reconciliation concerns two parties, unlike forgiveness. Reconciliation may be preceded by a detoxification, planning for inevitable human failures.



Relationships can be explosive or potentially dangerous. For safety, reconciliation is not likely.



  We cannot control other's behavior, let our own, at times. We can't see the future, how someone will act or predict eventual outcome. High risk is avoided by gut reaction or a sense of intuition. People can want to reconcile because they don't want to go back to the way things have been.



  Many seek counseling to prove the relationship a failure while others reconcile they'd be lonlier, if not. Some people like to hold grudges. Others resist reconciliation, they'd give up the fantasy the other spills their guts and comes back crawling on their hands and knees.







Everett L. Worthington, Jr.

Forgiveness and Reconciliation