Love's Loopy Logic
Love is said to have its own demands, which implies, you can follow its path or it will make its way around you.
Men can be ever so broad minded about what women want. They take an 'all is good' approach to flirting. A 'she wants me' bias increases their opportunities, in the end. Because men invest less of themselves in childbearing, it's in their best genetic interest to reproduce as much as possible. Perceptions that are confirmed become functional. This doesn't mean he's flipped, but likely, his version of a great date would reveal more interest in harmony than her version.
Women have bias of their own. They're funny about men being too casual about sex than they really are. A 'men are pigs' bias puts off the wolf in a never ending arms race of pursuit. The world has known some great loves.
We put the halo on the powerful and beautiful granting them qualities they don't likely have, inflate our own abilities and disregard overlooked skills.
We all tune in to the noisy channel of cohabitation according to need. Men look for sexiness and availability, women look for clues to personality and readiness to commit. In light of knowing intentions, we can seem to be on a collision course, but the fact is, we do connect.
Most offensive people are considered flawed rather than challenged. The rush to dispositional judgement, rather than considering the context about them is thought to be a basic attribution error. This bias probably kept our ancestors from dangerous liazons, a one strike, you're out law of judgement, but for the endeared, we will make an exception.
Kaja Perina
Psychology Today
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