Love Kept Secret
To keep love secret you have to avoid the causes that make it public, the biggest is wanting it to be too secret and not trusting anyone. Every lover wants it known his love for his beloved, but, if he's alone, he has to make stronger demonstrations than with a confidante. The lover's demonstrations arouse more suspicion.
A true friend provides a great comfort in being told another's passion, the unburdening of it, increasing joy in sharing them.
But, someone short of a friend suspects something, discovers it, beside offering counsel and favors, often repairs the mistakes of the blind lover, always observes secrecy and attends to many things the lover does not.
Signor Gasparo said you have to consider the vain ambition of women, together with madness and cruelty. Many women want to have as many lovers as possible, to die, bury them and do it again. Even though in love, they value the torment, pain and afflictions are true signs they are loved. By their beauty they can make men happy or miserable. They feed only on this food. To keep men in a domineering austerity, threats mingled with hope, and expect a glance of theirs to be the highest happiness.
Then they let the grapevine understand if they treat their loved one this way, how much worse anyone else? Safe, in this view, they lie with whoever to enjoy the calamaties and laments from the one they love. They deny themselves the pleasures they might have enjoyed by bringing public, what should have been kept secret.
The Book of the Courtier
Baldesar Castiglione
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