God forbade...must reading!

Alexithymia



  Alexithymia is a relatively new term that means the inability to express feelings with words. The term was coined by medical doctor Peter Sifneos in 1972. It's derived from a, a lack, lexis, words and thymos, emotions.



Frequently, alexithymics are unaware of what their feelings are.



  The doctor finds the society we live in, simply, does not place a high value on feelings. Instead, we seem to value nearly everything else. Money, appearances, material things, grades and test scores, to name a few.



  As it is, its more important for children to obey their teachers than, to even, take time to listen to their own feelings. Students are not asked how they feel about decisions. They're not asked about how they feel about whats happening between classroom walls. They are not asked feelings comparing teachers. They are taught the names of plants and insects, the names of a lot of dead people, but, not the names of their feelings.



Correspondingly, teachers are not in the habit of expressing their feelings with feeling words.



  Another problem is that most of us live in places where its not safe to show your feelings. Not safe to be emotionally honest. Children and teens have learned it safer to lie about their feelings.



  The basic hypothesis taken society is so dysfunctional, most of the time we are in so much pain, its awkward to evaluate those feelings and talk about them. If we made time to talk about death and bloodshed in Iraq, the treatment of POW's, students are killing each other in a country that likes to think we are a model for the rest of the world, the fact is teens are cutting, burning and killing themselves.



  A workable identity can develop only after a coalescence of life elements into a minimally satisfactory story. Paraphrasing Winnicott a 'good enough' identity requirers a 'good enough' story. Therapists can help convert a non-story into a partially authentic story so that a more authentic identity can evolve from that story.





Reny J. Muller, Ph.D

Steve Hine