Manipulation
If the person in a new relationship looks like they are having a lot of fun with someone else at a party, taken the wrong way, your partner will know you’re jealous and will recognize its hold on you.
If someone you love suddenly and inexplicably, stops contacting you. Overcoming such signs of coldness or indifference will prove that you really care about this person.
If the person you are dating manages to meet his parents accidently while you are on a date together. Your reaction to this coincidence will indicate whether you are run away bride, to flee at the idea of commitment.
If your partner denies the existence of a real relationship between you, it is because he is hoping to see if you will contest decisively.
"Between us, in any case, it is just a passing thing, soon it will be nothing more than a memory,"
calls for,
"Never say that, I couldn't bear to lose you."
Avoid responding with,
"Oh you think so?"
if you ever want to see this person again.
Many other methods exist to achieve these ends. We can hide our ultimate goal and get closer to a loved one under the guise of a friendly relationship that is purely disinterested. The reverse works: claiming that a relationship is only about sex without any real emotion or feeling of attachment. One can also hide one's true personality and motivation until the other has committed to us, for example, by staying sweet and nice just long enough to convince the other to commit themselves and then take power in the relationship by becoming tough and authoritarian.
All these methods are effective only to the extent that the person concerned is assumed to be naive, innocent and inexperienced–in short, silly.
The fundamental error manipulators make is to assume that their operation will go unnoticed. Faced with people who see through them and understand their true colors, the effect will vary depending on the intent. Believing that another needs to know us better, and cannot directly ask the question that preoccupies them, will not stop us from loving them. Believing that another has only their own interests at heart, only serves to drive people apart. Even those who excel in the art of manipulation never think that they appear as manipulators.
Psychology Today
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