Open Marriage
Learn to keep secrets from your spouse, take separate vacations, lower your expectations, get a platonic boyfriend, and make time with your ex!
Sometimes you want to hear the flip side of liberal, the thrill of walking the line, surely there are residents of Hollywood who are not wacked out and, by all other accounts, are happy.
There is no gold standard to which couples should aspire. Everyone will rewrite their own marriage rules according to their needs and expectations, financial and emotional.
If you want marriage to work - you have to have tremendous trust and respect of each other. I believe that you need to talk about boundaries and honor them. But most importantly, outside of the obvious, friendship, emotional and sexual intimacy - if you want to stay married you need to be committed to staying married and staying flexible. A closed mind is your fast pass to divorce court.
People who have long marriages simply don't get divorced! They hunker down - and ride out the tough times. They are committed to being committed. If they are going to be happy, they have learned to change and be flexible around what governs their relationship. No one stays the same - and to expect your partner to not want new things as time goes by is simply an expectation for pain and failure. Instead of thinking about a marriage as a lock down - think of it as your home base.
If you don't carve out time to do what really turns you on outside of your marriage - one day I do believe that you will leave your marriage.
Pamela Madsen
Psychology Today
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