Projection
We see in other people the very things we do not want to see in ourselves. What makes this crafty little defense work is that we are able to see these shameful aspects of ourselves in other people because, in unconscious fantasy, we have put them there.
Thanks to the cleverness of the unconscious mind, we are able to manipulate our picture of reality and see it as we wish to see it—usually in a way that makes us feel better.
By means of projection, we get rid of unwanted feelings and relocate them in someone else. By their very nature, the projections we put out want to come back. They want to come home where they belong. In other words, they will haunt us.
We may experience this dynamic as that nagging feeling that our spouse, or boss, or friend, or the stranger on the street has it in for us. Or we are always looking over our shoulder, on the look-out for ulterior motives, overly sensitized to reading something negative in feedback from others.
Projection is one of the most destructive ways of handling our difficulties. We fare better when we can take more responsibility for ourselves—when we own the good, the bad, and the ugly when it belongs to us. We have very little power to influence our lives for the better when we imagine we have nothing to do with it. But when we own up to our own, we have the chance to make a change for the better.
Psychology Today
No comments:
Post a Comment