Fear of Missing Out
That nagging feeling that if you say no, this will be the party that Colin Firth pops into. This will be the night a band nobody's ever heard of sets the crowd on fire before skyrocketing to international stardom. This will be the night when a mysterious stranger will turn out to be the love of your life. This will be the night when...what?
No really...what are you afraid of missing?
There is a school of thought that tells us to say yes to everything because you never know where yes can lead you. Many an adventure has started with yes. This is true.
Colin Firth won't drop in. You'll go, you'll see the usual suspects. The people who usually don't show up won't show up, the people who usually drink too much will drink too much, the band will either be good or it won't be. You won't talk to the mysterious stranger or if you do, it will be no more than a pleasant conversation. And you'll be ready to leave after about a couple of hours.
FOMO makes us say yes when we'd rather say no, and yes doesn't always pay off. Sometimes it does, mostly it doesn't. Not in any big way. Sometimes we go full of hope and end up disappointed. Sometimes, we'd rather just get to bed early.
I have known FOMO. I actually did miss out a couple of weeks ago, when my husband and a friend went to a glamorous rock and roll party that, after much FOMO agonizing, I opted out of. I'd been through an intense phase of interacting and just didn't have the juice to get dolled up and make a scene. And it was a scene, with great bands and glamorous people. When they told me about it the next day, I had a twinge of regret. Did I miss the party of the decade?
Maybe. But probably not. It was just a good party. And there will be others.
Sophia Dembling
Psychology Today
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