Love and Work
The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
The late Steve Jobs
Jobs' rejection of settling, or compromises, in love and work is a commendable ideal, but it’s not practical and not appropriate in all circumstances. Jobs is right in claiming that in matters of the heart, you know what you love when you find it, but there is no money-back guarantee that you will indeed find it. Sometimes you must settle and compromise and gradually build what you love. At other times, you need to realize your limitations and settle for the optimal alternative—in love and work. No one can promise you a rose garden in all circumstances.
Leaving all options open is in a sense disregarding reality, since reality has its own limitations and our resources are limited. Love requires such a great investment that leaving all our romantic options alive can spread our required investment too thin.
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The wish not to leave any door unopened is related to a natural curiosity among humans. Our imagination plays a crucial role in our lives, and we have an innate tendency to see and experience what is beyond our present circumstances. However, opening every door that beckons to us can have costly ramifications.
The obligations toward one's spouse are not absolute. In most modern societies, there is no moral obligation to stay within a marital relationship that is dead, but there is some kind of obligation to make the effort to stay in a marital relationship when there is a chance that a profound loving relationship can be established. There is a normative demand that each partner should make compromises that will bring the two closer together. However, there is also a desire to be in a loving relationship in which both people are happy with each other. The notion that one will be with one's partner for a long time is an essential part of ideal love. However, when this love is absent, staying together can harm both partners.
Aaron Ben-Zeév
Psychology Today
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