The Jones
Competitive people can make you feel irritated, anxious, even, inadequate. You might end up thinking you don’t measure up to another’s time, money or accomplishments. That you have to spend more time and money just to keep up with them. What gives?
Different things make people tick. Some people have a secure sense of self, regardless of the situation, whereas, others may have unstable or fragile self-esteem depending on the latest feather in their cap or who’s apple they’ve shined.
Anxiety and vigilance around social status and performance persists.
Some have a scrooge mentality about things..and people. They might have a survival mentality, jealous and controlling. This, generally, involves a deep insecurity about having their emotional needs met. They don’t consider humans inherently social beings, that connection and cooperation with larger social groups can increase our personal and stretch environmental resources.
Some competitive people may be narcissistic and self-centered, not seeing you as a separate human being, but, as a matter of fact, you exist... for them. These saboteurs can be the most difficult to deal with.
All work environments involve some degree of competition. If the competition involves being nasty, sneaky, or, otherwise, ruthless this can undermine the health and performance of the group, employees or society.
A competitive person who takes on extra work and responsibilities can be an asset to the whole team. Praise both of your efforts. This may be what they're looking for to feel more comfortable and secure.
Arrogant people tend to be narcissistic and status-conscious. If you exude confidence and appear to have high status and accomplishments, they may see you as one of them, more likely to respect you.
Highlight specific values and common goals. This strategy works better if they can be trusted to do their share and not grab all the credit.
Whatever strategy you use, be careful of how this could trigger your own negative scripts and insecurities. Don’t take things too personal in trying to make them change. This may be about their inner insecurities and not about you.
Keep in mind the humanity you share.
Psychology Today
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