Bullying
Bullying, born in the schoolyard, is an apt frame for a lot of what's wrong in our financial institutions and our governments. At the very least, greedy bankers need to learn to share. Elected officials who refuse to rise above politics in search of common ground could do with a lesson in ‘use your words.’ We try to teach children that they're not the center of the universe. We obviously have to extend that lesson to grownups, as well.
A bully is someone who doesn't know how to have a conversation, no less a relationship. They take hostages, use some people and beat up others. Bullies don't know how to interact unless they're in control. They have little empathy or trust, even when it comes to significant others.
In couples therapy, it's not uncommon for a family therapist to label one partner the distancer, the one who masks his vulnerability, using withdrawal or becomes noisy. He, usually, the guy, holds on stubbornly to his view of the truth and tends to blame his partner, the pursuer. At worst, he becomes violent.
It's not just a matter of making the bullies understand what they've done. Punishing bullies for their behavior doesn't work without education aimed at the perpetrator and victim.
Real change can't come without dialogue and self-reflection. Yet, could it be we all have a little bully in us, even though we may prefer to call it competitiveness or ambition? Don't we crave our fifteen minutes and want things to be the way we want them? It's the American way.
Psychology Today
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