Takes One To Avoid One
Something all leaders need to understand, when empathy plays favorites, we should all be scared.
It makes us feel better to distance ourselves from people with objectionable behavior. It makes us feel moral, safe and beyond reproach. By labeling someone evil means we’re more likely to lash out at them. Before we know it, we become cruel ourselves.
There is no excuse for violence and poor behavior. There have to be consequences to people who act destructively. But psychologically separating ourselves from them makes us more liable.
Any one of us is capable of just about anything. Unless we are aware of that, we are at greater risk of becoming the person we fear the most. We're more likely to lash out against others to defend our view of ourselves.
This is not just about world leadership and violence, it's about mundane and everyday relationships, as well. Any time we think or say, in disbelief,
"Can you believe what that person did? What kind of person does that? I just can't understand her!"
we are separating ourselves from other people, making them, essentially, bad and us, essentially, good. When we do that, we are, at worst, dangerous, and, at best, weak leaders.
It's only when we look at that dark part of ourselves with our eyes open and realize that we are not so different from those around us, can we be trusted to act responsibly.
in How We Work
Psychology Today
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