Trade Offs
You can't have it all. You can't have all the advantages of the single life and be married. You can't have all the advantages of having children and have lots of time for yourself or your career. You can't take a lot of risks and enjoy a sense of safety. You can't have a busy weekend and get lots of rest. You can't be a leader and be free of responsibility. You can't speak up and remain anonymous. There are just some things that don't go together. Life is a series of trade-offs.
If we expect to have it all in life, we will live in a perpetual state of frustration and disappointment. Some will strive harder and harder, endlessly pursuing perfection in a way that undermines their feelings of satisfaction in what they do have. Others will be locked in a state of paralysis, they can't choose a path at all, because choosing to have something means choosing to not have something else. In either case, what you do have is never felt to be enough.
Ultimately, we must accept life on it's terms. At any given time, we each must choose a path. If we accept the reality that life is a series of trade-offs, then we can commit ourselves to a particular path without too much grief, resentment, or disappointment. We can appreciate the satisfactions of the path we have chosen, knowing that we do not have to have everything in order to have something good. And if we choose a path and call it good, we open up even more possibilities for growth and satisfaction.
This attitude brings a strange kind of relief. By accepting limitations, we can make do with what we have. This doesn’t refer to talking about accepting mediocrity or resigning ourselves to unhappiness. When we recognize the good of what we do have and have built upon, we can get deep satisfaction from. Only then can we feel grateful for the rewards of the path we have chosen. Then we can be set free from the paralysis of never enough and move forward to good enough.
This attitude is a building block to peace of mind which, underneath it all, is what most of us are really after anyway.
Psychology Today
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