Self Image
You, along with everyone else, want to project yourself in the best possible light. This makes for inevitable competition.
Any discomfort from our self imagery recruits mental tricks that protect us from anxiety, keeping internal and external threats away from awareness. People are most often unaware of their ego defenses operating in the background, but when they are, it can be painful. Defense mechanisms help us cope with anxiety during times when our image is threatened.
Our self image almost never matches up with the way others see us because everyone wears a mask or facade. Research shows the nice guy in the mirror comes up short when compared to others’ judgments because we see our mask rather than the person we actually are. When dealing with other people we continually make snap judgments. He's needy, she's self absorbed, this one is competitive, that one's walled off. Some people you can see through while others are harder to read. We form an opinion, just the same.
But, when we shine the light of scrutiny on ourselves, however, we are relationally.. numbskulls. We cannot get past the mask and, so, cannot apprehend the judgments others make about us. The ancient wisdom,
"Know thyself,"
is still sound advice especially because of the human natural tendency to appear other than transparent.
As Carl Jung said,
"It takes a lifetime of effort to discern about ourselves what others may be able to detect at a glance."
Psychology Today
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