Relationships
Our relationship to a partner is a huge issue in life and the quality of that relationship is a major influence on our own happiness. The more fundamental issue is our relationship to ourselves and to our future.
So many are stuck in relationships that make them miserable. The pain is palpable. But what strikes me as astonishing is that those also seem to be saying they do not believe they deserve better.
When you love yourself enough, you know that you deserve a healthy relationship that meets your basic needs. You're able to imagine having that healthy relationship in your future so that you have a standard against which to evaluate your current situation. And your healthy attitudes towards yourself bring healthier partners into your life and prompt you to make wise decisions about who to get involved with.
In other words, the source of the relationship out there is what's going on in the relationship in here. Instead of worrying whether your partner is ever going to change and the relationship out there is ever going to work, get to work on the relationship in here that you can change, your relationship with yourself.
Either your partner will change along with you or you will recognize that you don't share the same goals and you will move apart in an empowered way. That will free you to create something better.
Psychology Today
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