Self Portrait
Psychologist Dan McAdams, a pioneer in the up-and-coming field of narrative psychology, says the life story represents the construction of personal identity at its core.
"We are all tellers of tales, and we seek to provide our scattered and often confusing experiences with a sense of coherence by arranging the episodes of our lives,"
he states.
"Starting in late adolescence, we manufacture our dramatic personal myths by selectively mining some experiences and neglecting or forgetting others."
Our early training leads, in adolescence, to a knack for spinning a fantastical narrative of the self.
"Life becomes mythic in our teenage years,"
a time of sexual awakening and the onset of abstract thought, when we actively search for who we are, McAdams explains. Many teens imagine extraordinary feats, from rock superstardom to discovering new cures for disease.
By late adolescence the most fanciful of these myths give way to more realistic stories about family, friends and the experience of growing up. These later stories, which connect the teen to his past and explain where he fits in the world, are the ones that will drive his narrative identity for many years to come.
The most enduring autobiographical memories are emotionally loaded, both positively and negatively. The more we retell these stories, the more important they will seem. Replaying breakup or accident scenes heightens their sentimental power, akin to repeatedly ripping the scab off a wound. Conversely, the less we talk about an unfortunate event, the easier it is to put it behind us.
There are gendered formats to our tales, says a California psychologist.
"Men tend to tell John Wayne type narratives, 'I wrecked my bike at 1,000 miles per hour and hit a tree. I broke my leg in five places,'"
she points out.
"Women will give the story a Florence Nightingale spin, 'My neck was broken, but I was worried about my mother because she couldn't open her eyes.'"
We are highly suggestible, subjects in one study actually remembered visiting someplace they'd never been after seeing a photo of it. Suggestion may even induce false memories of abuse. The more we retell false memories, the more real they become.
No matter what our life story is, we tend to continually rewrite it. During periods of transition, memories on the back burner may acquire new importance, depending on what's going on.
As soon as recollections come out of storage and enter the interpersonal realm, they are ripe for modification.
If something great happens, we may feel pressured to talk with others and gauge their reactions. The feedback shapes our future memories of what transpired.
Psychology Today
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