Year End
Transitions are actually continuous, not bound by numbers on a calendar or clock. One thing leads to another. Our lives, whether we like it or not, are constantly changing, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. Nothing is static. Nothing is truly predictable.
People often blame themselves for whatever difficulty they are facing. Retrospection-run-amok leaves us trying to imagine how we would undo the decisions we made and create a different present situation. "If only" I hadn't done this or that or the other thing, then I would not be suffering now.
Regret and recrimination look backwards. They focus attention on the past, not on the choices available to us now.
Perhaps we even become somewhat frozen, so caught up in self recrimination that we try not to make choices for fear that we won't like what we choose. Not choosing is a choice and often not a skillful one.
If we are stuck in recrimination and regret, self-forgiveness is essential. We all have done the best we could with our fallible abilities in an uncertain and unpredictable world. Berating ourselves only complicates the problems we face.
We face the end of one year, and, the the beginning of a new year. Bring forward everything you have learned.
Psychology Today
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