Many Loves
Relationships are built upon stories of love, such as a fantasy story, prince and princess, business story, business partners, travel story, travelers through life and collector story, collector and collectee, among many others. I think it would be difficult to be in love with two people at the same time with the same story. But it is quite possible to love two people via different stories. Given societal norms, such multiple loves are likely to create conflict. Stories are hierarchically arranged, from more to less preferred. It is likely the person with whom you are in love, who is higher in the hierarchy, or possibly to whom you are already committed, will outweigh the other person.
Robert J. Sternberg, Ph.D.
People are quite capable of being in love with more than one person. Yet the clinical reality is that a healthy individual who is emotionally, spiritually and sexually available for love will find complete satisfaction in a multiple relationship. Unfortunately, the kind of empathic attunement that's possible in a dyad is unusual these days. More commonly, individuals dissociate parts of themselves from their primary relationship. People suffering from fractured emotional lives—narcissists and borderlines, for example—would say they are capable of being in love with more than one person. The more interesting questions then become, what is revealed about individuals who are in love with more than one person? And how have such choices contributed to family dysfunction?
Drew Pinsky, M.D.
Psychology Today
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