Selfishness
Essentially, selfishness goes against our universal ethical grain. There's just nothing pro-social, or praise worthy about it, no recognizably redeeming characteristics.
Defined principally as thinking only of oneself, you get, among other unfavorable possibilities, egotistical, self-centered, and self-seeking. Perceived more along the lines of covetousness or greediness nets you acquisitive, mercenary and miserly. Looked at mainly as thinking very highly of oneself, its uncomplimentary synonyms include conceited, narcissistic, self-absorbed and vainglorious.
If you're going to take complete responsibility for your thoughts and feelings, wants and needs, and strive to reach your full potential, it makes perfect sense to make yourself your highest priority, to focus your time and energy on advancing your own welfare. That is, to be self-ish. And there's absolutely no reason that you can't at the same time be concerned about, loving and nurturing, toward others. However ironic it might at first seem, much research has shown that giving to others may ultimately be one of the most effective ways to nurture yourself.
Still, you don't want to give yourself away either. Being caring toward others is hardly the same as sacrificing yourself for them. For, strictly defined, such self-forfeiture would entail subjugating or suppressing your wants and needs for theirs. It would also hinder your chances of self-realization and fulfillment.
Psychology Today
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