New Narcissist
The new definition of narcissism, self-centered and attention-grabbing with a tendency toward manipulating others and deceiving themselves.
Furthermore, as needing others to confirm their identities, wanting excessively to please others, being unable to empathize with others, having little interest in close relationships, feelings entitled to special treatment, and, last, but not least, seeking attention.
Narcissism, like all of our personal traits, isn't an all-or-none quality. People vary in their narcissistic tendencies.
Research shows that narcissism peaks during the years of young adulthood,
self-centeredness seems to be a feature of that particular age period.
The finding that every generation is the Me generation fits a narcissistic explanation. Social psychologist David Elkind says teenagers believe that they are the center of their universe. They feel that they have an imaginary audience that follows them everywhere, watching and being impressed by their behaviors. Roberts and colleagues pointed out that this self-focus diminishes as teens develop close interpersonal relationships in the early twenties and begin their own families, causing their focus to shift away from themselves and toward their loved ones. People should, then, get less narcissistic as they get older through these normative developmental changes.
The people high in narcissism exit their teenage and young adult years without making the developmental shift that shifts their focus to others. However, some people never move down to the middle of the narcissism spectrum.
Three key problem areas of people high in narcissism were more likely to argue, swear, and become enraged, especially if they were the exploitative and entitled type of narcissist.
Being more likely to shirk their duties. Once again, exploitative and entitled narcissists were the most poorly adapted. It wasn't that they were lazy, but that they didn't become academically engaged.
The exploitative and entitled were more likely to talk dirty. Even after controlling for the fact that many sexual words also express anger, the exploiters and entitled used more sexual language in their everyday speech.
Is there hope for the narcissist?
Age, experience, and involvement in new social roles lead most people to grow out of their youthful narcissism.
Learning to read other people's reactions can help people tone down their self-centered focus and calm their exploitative or explosive tendencies.
The ability to make great first impressions can be a tremendous strength if it's followed by learning to develop empathy and a sincere interest in other people.
Don't write off the narcissist as doomed to a self-centered life. Change can occur naturally over time.
Psychology Today
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