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Love styles




   Love styles are models of how people love. John Lee identified six basic colors of love.
Eros, Ludus, Storge, Pragma, Mania and Agape.



  Eros, a passionate and emotional love based on aesthetic enjoyment, stereotypical of romantic love. Erotic lovers view marriage as an extended honeymoon, sex, the ultimate aesthetic experience. They have pet names for lovers, snugglebottom. A hopeless romantic. Others see the erotic as unrealistic, trapped in a fantasy. Erotic love is sentimental. It is relaxing. The disadvantage is the decay in attraction, the danger of living in a fantasy world. In extreme, eros displays naivete.



  Ludic lovers are players. More interested in quantity than quality of relationships, ludic lovers want to have as much fun as possible. Ludic lovers chose partners by playing the field, quickly recover from break-ups. Ludics see marriage as a trap. Ludics, the most likely to step out. They might see children, a sign of fertility or of the masculinity of the father. Sex is a conquest or sport, they engage in challenging relationships. The disadvantage of ludic is infidelity. In extreme, ludic becomes promiscuous.



  Storgic lovers are first friends. Storgic love gradually develops out of friendship. The friendship can last beyond the break-up. Storgic chose mates based on like with like, confuse the 'moment' falling in love. Storgics want their significant other to be their best friend. Storgics place importance on committment, they find the motivation to avoid committing adultery to preserve trust between partners. Marriage and children are good forms of bonds. Storgic put less value on sex. This involves having respect and understanding for one another. Storgic love advantage is the level of intimacy between partners. The disadvantage, a lack of passion.



  Pragmatic lovers think rationally and realistically about their expectations from a partner. They select partners like comparison shopping. Pragmatics want to find value in their partners, and, ultimately, want to work with their partner to reach a common goal. Pragmatics avoid infidelity to steer away from adverse consequences, carefully weigh the costs and rewards of relationships. Pragmatics see sex as a reward, a means of procreation. Children are seen as potential assets and liabilities. The advantage of pragmatic is realism, practicality. The disadvantage the undemonstrativeness and lack of emotion.



  Manic lovers often have low self-esteem, the relationship very important. Manic lovers speak of partners in terms of possessions and superlatives, they feel they need their partners. Love is a means of rescue, a reinforcement of value. Manic lovers find partners by haphazard means. Manic lovers fear getting caught in adultery. Marriage seen as ownership, children as competition or as a substitute for their lover. Sex is a reassurance of love. Manics are often anxious or insecure, and can be jealous. The advantage of manic love is intensity. The disadvantages include jealousy, obsessiveness and 'can't get enough'. In the extreme, manic becomes addiction or codependency.



  Agapic love is self-sacrificing, all encompassing. Agapic are spiritual or religious. Agapics see their partner as a blessing, they are fond of. Agapic lovers are true to avoid causing pain. Agapics are likely to be found 'standing in the rain' after a break-up. Marriage and children are sacred trusts, sex, a gift between two people. Agapic love is seen as unconditional, but can, easily, lose themselves attending to the other. The advantage of agapic love is generosity. The disadvatage it can bring on guilt or feelings of incompetence. In the extreme, agapic becomes martyrdom.





Wikipedia